the word defined by websters as:
"a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil pain, etc. whether the threat is real or imagined: the feeling or condition of being afraid."
cut and dry, right?
not so much.
what websters forgets to point out, is that this word is so POWERFUL.
it has the ability to control, manipulate, twist, influence, and seriously fuck you up.
i know- trust me.
I really love words. but this word and I are going through a bit of a rough patch right now.
there have been a few rare times that something that I viewed as a fearful or dangerous were actually found out to be camouflaged in what I took to be fearful.
quitting school:
marriage:
giving birth:
falling in love:
each one of these things/events/monuments, have all been bitter-sweet. in that, they were all once saturated with fear yet, brought the complete opposite result of what i anticipated.
but now i see fear in so many places. not only in myself but in those i care so much about.
how do you tell someone to STOP letting fear of the result deny you the pleasure of the experience when you have done nothing but take pleasure in the experience and deny yourself the realization of the possible and probable result.
so obviously the word "fear" and i are in a very heated love/hate relationship right now.
any guesses as to who's coming out on top in this one?? :)
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'i feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. you are not alone."
-Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake
