Today is Valentines day. ugh.....
I think this is such a strange "holiday". pretty sure it was created so that candy and card companies, florists, and any business selling or involved in any form of contraception, can make a BOATLOAD of money.
then in the days following this "holiday", they can make even MORE money from all the poor saps that screwed up the first time around trying to make it up to their significant other.
Sigh....here I go
but it also has got me thinking a lot about LOVE.
oh, crap......
I was asked several times in the last year what it is that I WANT.
simple, right? yeah, not so much. literally three things that I have always wanted.
*to be LOVED
*to be WANTED
*to be HAPPY
pretty sure these three things can all be lumped into one but I am also pretty sure that each one is so much more complicated than the word implies. love. such a simple, unintimidating set of 4 little letters. that when placed in such a way, can become so complex, so full, so sweet, and so hard to explain.
Not only do I want these three "little" things, I am now realizing that I need them. I have to demand them.
how the hell do you demand something from someone that you are trying to figure out the meaning of? when what those things are and how to show them is constantly changing?
you don't demand them.
you earn them
you communicate what you need right now
and if that is too much you figure it out together.
I am learning. I am trying to figure out how to allow myself to be loved. figuring out what that means. not just demanding that of others but of myself.
screw "love languages". we all have the same one- COMMUNICATION. its the most difficult thing to learn. but its so vital in love.
I know that I want to be heard. I want to listen. I want to laugh. I want the physical and emotional bond that only real love can bring. the kind that you think about all day. that makes you smile at random times. I need that. we all do. we just have to figure out HOW.
Easier said than done, huh?
Except with love like this......
